Reading through my past posts, I've realised that I have been behaving like the cataclysmic dump of pessimism I'd so wished to evolve from. I have, in most ways. Certain fragments of bitterness are at times, due to lack of better places, hurled out on this little secret shelf of mine- but it'll be terribly unfair to present my life as a single experience of a love affair gone wrong.

I'm in love. Delhi has begun to feel like home- the wind seems familiar, the roads don't seem too strange, and the people don't seem so alien anymore. Now that I have a place in this city I may call my own, it almost-almost feels like home. I believe I've found my people, and much to my joy, I have reunited with my moments of solitude. Life doesn't seem like a long drawn out sigh, neither does it feel like a race I'll never finish. It's spaced out, just as I wanted, doing just the things I wanted to do, reading just the books I wanted to read, just the way I wanted to read them. Memories are forming pictures- and that's how I always love them. And yes, I'm terribly,terribly in love with a boy who might be the sweetest little one in the world, He looks out for me in his own way-which might be awfully different than what I was used to, but damn, does he love me. We're careful,but delicate-sensitive, but relaxed-emotional,and yet,practical. I admire him. I may sound like a teenage schoolgirl gushing over her new crush- but I am in awe of him, It's been two years, and we've had the ugliest fights where everything seems incredibly futile, but if anything, I've learnt to be patient, I've learnt to give people a chance, and I've learnt that not all kinds of love are same, and hence, relatively immeasurable. But most importantly, he helped me slowly,and very very carefully, rest my faith in something I thought was so completely faithless. I will not place the burdensome responsibility  of being a savior on him, neither would I ever believe that I needed saving. But if I did- then he would be the one who did actually, save me. It's so incredibly heartwarming, that I turn into pulp everytime I really want to pen this down. Maybe three years down the line, things will change drastically-maybe this won't be the kind of love I'll subscribe to-maybe my kind of love will cease to work for him. But for now-I am happy, I am at times,ecstatic. I seldom have nights where I can't sleep because the fear in my mouth tastes like vinegar-or the bitterness eats me up into an icky green mess. I sleep well, like one in love with a beautiful friend,

I hope we last,K. I hope we do. :)