Love is a terrible,terrible thing.
I am definitely not the first to come to such a poignant conclusion,neither the last, but at times like these, I can't help but resort to melodramatic articulation.

It makes poets and lovers and liars and hypocrites out of us. Takes us closest to our idea of  ideal, and takes slow,sweet time to butcher the very same. Earth shattering, I tell you. And when you've shed your clandestine tears,felt immensely sorry for the lover,beloved and the unthinkable rift created, you're left with a sense of irrefutable disgust, at the world, at random strangers, at yourself- a persisting ache that takes hold of you like a stubborn child refused candy.
But what's more damaging is that it turns you into a giant,disbelieving ball of absolute cynicism, where the slightest show of kindness or love from any corner whatsoever disgusts the life out of you. And curling up into superficial, illusive activities becomes absurdly comforting.

All I need right now, is an escape, a break. A vacation, favourably somewhere far,far off.
Preferably a place with mountains. But wishful thinking has got me absolutely nowhere, what with reality butting in every now and then.

And lastly, to you,
My Liar.May you flourish.
:)

# To You.

To the times,

I'm walking along familiar roads, hustled along by the unknown faces of everyday business, when I feel you with me, maybe looking over my shoulder at the tiny trinket I buy, or browse through the musty,yellow books strewn on display, or maybe even give me our customary last glance backward, while I board an auto back home. But see, its never a farewell, with you.

For its hello, again! And I feel you once more, when I see a dirty, desolate woman abandoned on the bus-stop, crying unabashedly before the nonchalant world outside. I know you see it then, with me. Or when I turn the bend to my house, and see three tiny pups, sunbathing, nestled in the sandpits, while a little piggy tailed girl dances in excitement. And for that moment, I'm that little girl, and so are you! :)

And for just times like these, when I write of this and see you on your bed, wrapped in the warmth of the sunlight that comes in through that window above your head, reading Synge, plunged into oblivion of the fact that your girl,miles away, is writing this, with a smile on her face, hoping to see one on yours as well.

I love you so. :)


January 4th,2013.
To our absurdly meaningful mail chains, when words were enough to fall in love, over and over again.

The Beginning.

So, here I am...a new blog, a new post, a new bunch of words after a considerable period of procrastination. A part of me believes this blog will be another failure, another attempt wasted, another impulsive investment soon to be forgotten. The other part of me keeps writing, mildly excited at the prospect of a clean slate, albeit a virtual one.

The productivity of this blog, however, is questionable, even to me.
For writing,to me, had always been a cathartic process. It was simple enough..anger, annoyance,grief,sadness,confusion-pen it down, and that was enough consolation. But if growing up has taught me anything, it is this that too much knowledge, rationality and logic can turn us into a giant mass of cynicism. Curiosity, has in fact, slaughtered my peace of mind. Even while I write this,I doubt that by the time I complete writing, I will probably not be feeling anything at all.Or worse, the nagging sense of  having a meaningless existence will continue to persist.

But hope seldom dies. Sure, it fades away, but it never really dies.
So although my very first post is a cataclysmic dump of pessimism, I continue with the hope that maybe, a few months down the line, a few posts older, I will evolve from this self critical and miserably misanthropic state of mine and write of happier times. :)